Building Community in our new De-communitized World

“Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee, and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the signs he had performed by healing the sick. Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with his disciples.” John 6: 1-3

Online or in person, our groups should create a community that others will want to join.

Thank you to the medical world at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and World Health Organization (WHO) and so many more that are losing sleep to protect my family and friends. They, and a long list of government leaders, are making difficult decisions for the cause of safety for humanity. The virus that has come upon us is such that those in charge want the people to de-socialize. Understandably so. Don't shake a hand, don't give a hug, stay away from people, stay home, and stay away from each other.

But a community is a basic need. People need community; they need socializing and face to face contact.  But we are now challenged in such a way that this is difficult to create. We find ourselves reliant on internet venues like no time before. 

Because of the virus and the expansive shutdown, online social media has come alive with folks offering spiritual support. A devotional here or spiritual lesson there all help. But while a single message may be greatly encouraging, a community isn't created by listening to one person talk at you. It takes more. There needs to be an "and," a great devotional and…

We need effective small groups in God's church to create a community. Who doesn't want a group that is not empowering, uplifting, and one everyone would want to return to next week? Who doesn't want to be a part of a group where it is so encouraging that everyone wants to bring a friend along next time. We need groups where we all want to attend, not attend out of duty.

This group takes deliberate and sometimes difficult effort to help others feel valued, included, and to create productive socialization and community. Especially in the current desocialization world, it takes a heightened acumen, and maybe a Zoom account or familiarity with Google Hangouts.

In a recent online group, we experienced a variety of people; teens, retired, single, married, small children, college-aged, and so on, all in one group meeting. It would be easy to overlook one or another because of the variety of needs, but each person has something to bring. They are all critical, and I want them all to leave with a desire to return and bring a friend.

We offer a few tips to help you.

3  Tips for the leader in creating community:

1)      Prepare the people ahead of time. Assign tasks, offer love and encouragement, seek input from the group. Help the group members to aid you in creating a successful time together.

2)      Know the group. Who needs encouragement, anxious, or who has another need? You may not have the exact answer they may need, but you can be supportive by being a good listener. If in doubt, always point them back to God and His word and exhibit understanding.

3)      Value the members. They have so much to offer. Empower a member with a task, and if they do a great job, tell them so. Call them by name and engage with them. Keep your eyes open to meet the needs of encouragement or the one you need to congratulate. Bring your "A" game of listening and let them talk. Drive the discussion, but let them discuss. Inclusion is gold when creating a community, and it helps the member to want to return and bring a friend.

But creating a community is not just about the leader. If you are a member of the group, you have your responsibility as well. It is no less critical.

3  Tips for the member to create community:

1)      Set yourself and your interests aside. Just as the leader, you should come to give. Consider the friend who needs your encouragement, not your grumpiness. Help build the group with your love and leave any criticalness elsewhere.

2)      Chime in. Don't be afraid to offer a comment or ask a question. Make it a goal at each time with your group to provide at least one story or a thought.

3)      Value the other members and their thoughts as well. Your idea or comment is important, but so is the person seated next to you or across from you. Don't make the leader's task of creating inclusion more difficult by feeling your comment is the best or the right one or offering ten comments against the rest of the group's two combined comments.

And finally… 1 tip for everyone

1) Prayer. It sounds simple, and you may not see clear results on your timing. But if you are simply praying for your group and your group members on a regular basis, that will transform your spirit, and help the group as well. It will help you with the other three tips previously mentioned regardless of your role. Prayers for faith, love, humility, and growth are a start. You can work on what else is needed.

You will find that these tips will help online or in person. They cross the platform of face to face or cyberspace to touch the heart of socialization and help your friends feel important and included. It takes the full community to create the community and to help it grow.  It takes a full-on effort by all involved. During this time of de-socializing, don't back away from others. Give and give more. There is much work to be done and growth to be had. Stay strong, my friends.