Small Relationship Tip to Help Single Guys be a...

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.  As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”              I Peter 1: 13-16

Guys, this could be you!

Like so much of true Christianity, Christian dating should look much different than that of the world.  Peter’s insight into the mindset mentioned above should impact us since the world has taught us some poor habits.  Peter calls us out of the world by telling us to avoid past evil desires and to be obedient and holy.  This takes deliberate action on your part. You can’t turn and live honorably without fully turning away from unrighteous living.  Relationships never work like the movies or the Hallmark Channel that often teach us that everything works out alright and everyone is happy and together in the end.  It certainly is not like The Bachelor where women or men contestants throw themselves at the prospective mate, and in a climactic finish, they choose the one who flirted and kissed the best, calling that love.  The influence on our culture that these and many more shows have is horrible.  They can be a considerable discredit to what is a real blessing from God.

It seems like the casual “taking a girl or guy out on a date or double date” in the young 20-something culture is a bit under attack.  Perhaps it is a combination of the television programs we just mentioned, or the enormous ease, availability and debilitating use of pornography that are the worst offenders.  Or perhaps the decrease in real face-to-face social interaction of growing children is a culprit as well.  So often men and women feel they are placed in the “friend zone” and take it personally when they do not instantly match with interest.  Sometimes we think we should live in the Tinder world where someone falls in love with us at first sight.  Apps like Snapchat and others encourage men and women to utilize impure pictures to acquire or keep an interest.  These worldly influences and dynamics produce lies of expectations and discouragement of not meeting them.  They also encourage impurity and immorality to build intimacy.  This does not work and is against God’s laws and will. 

As Christians, we recommend plenty of casual and double-dating to build a genuine friendship that God would be able to grow into a romantic one if He desires.  To do so, you may need to set your phone down and talk to the person of interest face to face.  Our culture is moving too easily to a mode of communication that is from a distance.  Guys, if you want to have a relationship with a girl whether a possible interest or otherwise, use the audio mode on your phones.  Better yet, talk to her in person, open a door for her and ask her how her day is going, or ask her about her favorite class or restaurant.  Ask about where she has traveled or where she has lived.  Do you want to know more?  Ask her why Geometry is her favorite class, or why the local pizzeria is her favorite.  If you're nervous about talking with her, you are a member of a large club.  So say a prayer and take a deep breath. While there is nothing inherently wrong with texts, real relationships aren't built on digital messages, but with face to face conversations.